Titanic voyage #2 in 2016

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The unsinkable ship already sank once, so why is Australian businessman Clive Palmer building another ocean liner and dooming it with the name Titanic II?

Does Palmer not remember Leonardo DiCaprio freezing to death as he clung to a piece of wood, rather than climbing onto the raft that clearly could have held two people? Sorry about the bitterness, but there is simply nothing romantic about hypothermia.

But Palmer and designer Markku Kanerva assure critics of the safety of this work in progress. Sound familiar? Oh yeah, the Titanic I when it set sail for New York in 1912. The whole world saw how wonderful that turned out.

With promises of a maiden voyage in 2016, thousands of people have already signed up to participate in history’s potential remaking. The new ship will feature an almost identical layout as the first, with antique furnishings and embellishments.

Passengers even have the option of donning period clothing for the journey. After all, who doesn’t want to sport Kate Winslet-worthy garb?

Still, wouldn’t the memory of the horrific tragedy put a damper on the party?

Granddaughter of socialite and survivor Molly Brown, Helen Benziger, has given her full support of the project.

“Bringing this ship back? I don’t know the words…. It is a chance to go back in time,” she told The Guardian.

Sure, it would be great to reenact Jack and Rose’s highly unlikely and strangely accelerated relationship. But nothing about playing tag with icebergs sounds enjoyable.

Palmer seems fairly nonchalant about the outrageous sum of money going toward the endeavor. The threat of colliding into a monstrous piece of frozen water doesn’t seem to bother him either. Why? Global warming, naturally.

“Anything will sink if you put a hole in it,” Palmer told The Guardian. “There are not so many icebergs in the North Atlantic these days.”

All joking aside, the proposed passenger ship could offer a blast into the past for passengers willing to open their wallets for a pricey trip. Already, millions of dollars have been offered by  eager journeyers.

Thanks, Blue Star Line, for making a hopeless romantic’s dream come true.

The final verdict on the project? Launch the safety rafts now, just in case. Or at least send DiCaprio to the rescue. It’s the least you can  do, Palmer.

Author: Katelyn Holm

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