There’s a new bachelor in town
Scene one: Sean with his shirt off. Scene two: Sean with his shirt off, working out. Scene three: Well, you get the picture.
Season 17 of The Bachelor kicked off with bachelorette Emily Maynard’s Dallas ex-boyfriend, Sean Lowe.
The opening moments included a wedding dress, Fifty Shades of Grey, one gymnast’s tumble and far too many awkward introductions.
Kacie from Ben’s season returned, upping the count of single ladies to 26.
The unmemorable girls go home, the entertaining ones stay. Nothing has changed except the deepness of Lowe’s v-necks.
Now, fast-forward to episode two.
The bachelor’s helicopter entrance proves one of the most ridiculously memorable appearances in the show’s history.
One-armed Sarah scores the first date with Prince Charming, which turns out to be more of a sympathy move than one motivated by chemistry.
They free-fall 300 feet for champagne. Nice play, producers.
After a terribly corny group date, 12 lucky ladies leave with nothing but a head full of even more hairspray.
Sean takes Desiree on outing number two, where he pranks the poor, oblivious girl. What a jokester.
On a serious note, Tierra wants to punch everyone and Amanda issues the silent treatment. How uncomfortable.
Back at the hen house, Katie chickens out and opts to leave, while Brooke and Diana get the boot.
What better way to spend Martin Luther King Jr. Day than kicking back for a third dose of Mr. Lowe and his pretty princesses?
In episode three, the blonde grabs solo date number two, a Guinness world record. For what, you ask? I’ll tell you. For the longest on-screen kiss.
The debacle earns Tierra some one-on-one time with her handsome hero, while AshLee waits impatiently.
Hopefully the bachelor isn’t looking for an athletic wife because the second group date turns into a volley for Sean’s love on the beach. Amanda creeps people out, yet again, and the Kacie stages an intervention.
The cocktail party turns into a tug-of-war, pulling the bachelor all over the place and leaving everyone upset.
Taryn and Kristy leave without roses and a promise that true love is out there somewhere. Maybe they just won’t find it on prime time television.