In eHarmony with singleness
There are misconceptions about meeting people online.
Why is it OK for people to choose their “friends” on Facebook and let mere acquaintances see some of the deepest “notes” of their life, but if a person joins a networking site for the sake of romantic relationships where their “matches” are chosen for them, suddenly a line has been crossed?
I am what many people call “hardcore” about convictions. I recently joined eHarmony. Some would call me crazy.
But somewhere in my ambition and zeal for “waiting on the Lord,” I realized that I was doing the same things over and over and expecting different results, the real definition of “crazy.”
I have been “out” a couple times, but never dated. I came to UMHB not only for the academics and the Christian environment; I’d venture to say (with a smile) the slick, purple brochures mailed to my house when I was in high school are partly to blame.
I can remember one in particular that said, “Why go to a Christian college?” and one of its main reasons was to find a Christian spouse. What a zinger. And that’s how many girls picture their college career. I won’t lie for the rest of the female student population. Most of us would like to double major – one of those being the “MRS” degree.
I would like to preface my story about deciding to join eHarmony with this: I have reached the place of content in my singleness. I used to get into long discussions with my previous, now-married roommate about how God brings relationships to a deeper level when the couple brings more glory to Him together than when they’re apart.
With another friend, I would try to dissect Paul’s words when he said, “It is better not to marry.” We’d often wonder if he knew what in the world he was talking about. Then, there’s always parental advice. “God won’t give you an idol to replace Him,” my mom would tell me.
So, it took a while, and I’m not even saying I’ve got it all nailed down, but I began to realize my prolonged singleness was, in fact, what drew me closer into the presence of God more than anything else. I found myself truly craving time in the Bible and waking up with His name on my lips.
I prayed, God, if my singleness is what keeps drawing me back to You and keeps me depending on You, bringing us closer, I’m going to stop asking You to take it away. It is a gift. I accept Your gift.
Then, I knew. It wasn’t that, “Oh, I’ve learned the lesson. Let’s get me a boyfriend.” It was the realization that Christ is truly everything. I’m 20 years old. I’m at a place in my life where I can date. I can allow myself to let someone pursue me.
My time of singleness gives me the opportunity (and time) to develop deep and meaningful friendships, be involved on campus and try new things.
So, back to joining eHarmony… for me, personally, it was the correct next step. I’m not doing the same thing I did for three years at a great university (with some great guys) and expecting different results. The results I’ve had were good, but not what I am looking for at this point in my life. As for the results of joining eHarmony, I’ll have to let you know. But I can already say, the results are different.