Letter to the editor

Owned and published by UMHB, The Bells is a biweekly publication. This content was previously published in print on the Opinions page. Opinions expressed in this section do not necessarily reflect the views of the staff or the university.

After reading an article (I hate the day of ‘love’) in your last issue, I was a bit disgruntled. The opinion piece discussed UMHB women and their peculiar dating habits, which has proven to be a hot issue on campus.

Some believe that girls at UMHB have unrealistic expectations for their future relationships and are consequently turning down too many young men who put themselves out on the line by asking girls out on dates.

Another idea that was presented in the article was that it was offensive for a woman to turn down a casual date despite lack of interest in the pursuer. After brooding over these issues on my own and discussing it with students
of both genders at the university, I am compelled to argue the other side of this topic.

It is a well-known fact that men and women have very different views and motives when it comes to the dating realm. What is the male motivation for asking a girl out? When asked that question, many men that I talked to confirmed that the reasoning was to get on a different level with the girl of interest.

Whether it is a deeper knowledge of the other person’s character, a step toward a serious relationship, or to advance in physical relations with girls, men are pursuing a different level when they ask a girl out on a date.

From the female perspective, it is deceitful to agree to a date in order to reach that different level with someone they are uninterested in. It would rob the boy of money and effort spent on the outing and would drain some emotion and time away from each party.

Most girls, especially at UMHB, are willing to acknowledge the fact that we may get a little aggressive with the idea of finding “the one.” When we are presented with the chance to get on a different level with a boy, if we don’t see the potential for that growth we will usually say no.

This may serve to protect us from an awkward situation, or to protect our names in future conversations of how Miss So-and-So led Mr. So-and-So on and then destroyed his pride after she said she wasn’t interested in a second
date.

The simple question I would like to present is how would these men react if they were in the woman’s role? I challenge male readers to toy with the image for just a moment of a girl that you know. She may not be attractive
to you, share any commonalities with you, or even provide the assurance of an enjoyable evening if time alone were spent together. She asks you out. What do you say?

Dating is and will always be a controversial issue on campus. My only word of advice to readers is that if you know how the women at UMHB view dating, and you disagree with it, you should probably date women off campus.

Shaina Ryan
Sophomore Education Major

Author: The Bells Staff

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