Posted By Kennan Neuman on Feb 5, 2009

Besides occasional jitters and feeling a little bit like a cannibalistic vampire for swallowing my own blood, getting my four wisdom teeth removed wasn’t so bad. I heard people’s scary stories, which they were so giddy to tell, as soon as they heard of my dental appointment (thanks guys).

But the dental assistant said, “You’re not nervous are you?” when she checked my blood pressure (which I think was 160 over 90, if that’s good). I was in the dental office at 9:25 am and left with a numb mouth stuffed with gauze by 12:30 pm. Speedy, but quality service. Not often do both come together.

They sent me home with a list of rules to follow with warnings from the doctor that if I don’t follow them to the “T” I will experience one or more of the vicious diseases listed on the rules-to-follow page.

Courtesy MCT Campus

So far, I can compare it to getting pink eye in elementary school. All the teachers say, “Oh, you need to go home.” So you’re happy. You’d rather spend the day on the couch watching cartoons and eating fruit roll ups anyway. Commercial after commercial is for fun things too, like juicy juice and strawberry Jell-O. Your eye doesn’t really hurt. All the tall people just say not to rub it. No harm. No foul. See you classmates in a couple days.

As with all surgeries, it isn’t completely pain free. Like having pink eye, you cringe when mom has to put in those freezing cold eye drops that make you cry. You watch the plastic bottle with the meds get right up in your eye’s grill. I equate the cold eye drops to having to eat soft foods and not being able to rinse my mouth out even when all I can taste is blood. So, instead of “rinsing,” or “spiting” (both of which are band in their rule book) I simply chug. I’ve chugged water, tomato soup, and I’m fixing to move to apple juice.

So, when I return to UMHB this weekend, you’re welcome to stop by and eat some Jell-O with me because “every diet needs a little wiggle room.”